The team is to be aptly named, Dandelion and Burdock FC, and will be situated in Cumbernauld, Scotland, hometown of Barr headquarters. Fans of current Cumbernauld team, Clyde FC, strongly oppose the idea of the new corporate club in their town. But Hanna has rubbished these concerns, suggesting that such animosity “can only be a good thing, as it shows that a fierce local derby is already on the cards”.
The move to creating the football team stems from recent poor sales figures. Ronnie Hanna is hopeful that this team will be the catalyst for future commercial success. "The meteoric rise of other corporate teams such as Hashtag FC has made us at Barr think, that is where we could be a few years down the line", said Hanna in a recent interview. He went on to say, “We at Barr think that Dandelion and Burdock is due its day in the sun”, before adding, “but don’t actually put Dandelion and Burdock in the sun. That would be detrimental to your Dandelion and Burdock experience.”
Many of the club traditions (listed below in the team’s trial application form) involve the use of, or presence of dandelions, which could prove problematic throughout much of the football season. The UK football calendar runs from August to May, whereas dandelion season famously spans from May to October. Critics of Dandelion and Burdock FC are sceptical as to how some of the newly manufactured club ‘traditions’ will be able to operate between November and April.
In the face of these critics Ronnie Hanna remains calm. He has spoken of using state-of-the-art biotechnology, which will be utilised for new dandelion farming techniques.
(Listed below is the projected club overview for Dandelion and Burdock FC.)
(Further below is the advertisement for applicants wanting to trial for the team.)
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Club Overview:
Name: Dandelion and Burdock FC
Coach: Mr Dan D. Lion
Mascot: Burdock Martin (A human-sized Burdock which wears Doc Martins)
Name: Dandelion and Burdock FC
Coach: Mr Dan D. Lion
Mascot: Burdock Martin (A human-sized Burdock which wears Doc Martins)
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| Rough draft of Burdock Martin (without inclusion of his infamous Doc Martins) |
Kit:
- Floral patterned shirts
- Yellow shorts
- Actual dandelions used as shoelaces
Founded: 1265
This date is inaccurate in terms of actual team formation, nonetheless it is set to be used on the crest, as it is when Dandelion and Burdock was first concocted. The FA and A.G. Barr are in dispute over the legality of the use of this date.
Chairman: St. Thomas Aquinas (RIP)
The official chairman will be Ronnie Hanna, but as a mark of respect, inventor of Dandelion and Burdock, St. Thomas Aquinas, has been honoured as the spiritual chairman of the club.
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| St. Thomas Aquinas: Saint of Dandelion and Burdock |
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Trial for Dandelion and Burdock FC today!!!
DO YOU…
- Like playing football on moist, high-nitrogen soils?
- Enjoy the taste of dandelion and burdock?
…Well if so, sign up for trials today at Dandelion and Burdock FC!
From playing football, to drinking dandelion and burdock, you’ll do it all...
- Play football
- Drink Dandelion and Burdock
…The possibilities are endless!!
The Perks
- See our bespoke goal nets, weaved by arctium lappa experts, entirely out of burdock
- Drink Dandelion and Burdock with teammates before, during and after the match!
- Pray to our famous dandelion-covered St. Thomas Aquinas shrine
- Farm your own dandelion and burdock on the pitch-side allotment
- There’s even a traditional dandelion seed blowing after every goal!
Contact the Club directly at taraxacum.officinale@gmail.com
